Okay, um, we're moving right along here, um
Hello, patient 24602
I'm sorry, hello
How are you feeling?
Um, not great
Has the treatment been working?
Uh, I don't think so, no
What are your remaining symptoms?
I just, I, I internalize my feelings a lot
I have trouble articulating how I'm feeling to other people, I feel like I just, I'm
So basically, you're still a little bitch
Yes, very mature of you, disembodied voice way up there
I was just joking, nigga
Alright, you're not as safe in Wisconsin as you might think with that shit
I'm not human, I can say whatever I want
Alright, just, just get to the point, what's wrong with me? Please, please
Your emotions and logic are at war
Okay
Your creativity and analysis are at war
And most simply, your left and right brain are at war
My left and my-
To fix the problem, we must separate them from each other
Sep-
Splitting your neurological functions in five, four, three, two, one
Well, we book an appointment or something?
You don't just start counting down to major medical procedures
This may hurt a bit
I don't know what it is
Zero
Just tell me what you're
Isolation complete
This is Bo's Left Brain
Objective, logical, cold, analytical
Aware of patterns, aware of trends
He's efficient, and a prick
This is Bo's Right Brain
Subjective, creative, sensory
Aware of feelings, aware of people
He's emotional, and an idiot
That's your opinion, just, careful with opinions
Okay boys, play nice
I am the Left Brain, I am the Left Brain
I work really hard until my inevitable death brain
You got a job to do, you better do it right
In the right way with the Left Brain's might
I like Oreos and pussy, yes
In that order
And I cried for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3, Woody
I am the Right Brain
I have feelings
I'm a little all over the place
But I'm lustful, trustful and I'm looking for somebody to love
Or put my penis in
Here comes a female, here comes a female
Puff your chest out, take your phone and check your email
Our evolutionary purpose is repopulate
So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate
Holy fuck, I think she might be the one
There's something about her
I just can't describe it
Tits
I am the Earth, she's the glorious sun
I want her to trust me
And I just want her to
How do I say this? Sit on my face? Sit, sit on my face
Alright now, Right Brain, you're being insane
No, Left Brain, I'm just being alive
You should try it, you might like it
I worked hard to give him everything he cared about
You were worried 'bout the things he was scared about
I'm calm and collected when you act wild
I am the adult, you are the child
You think you're the right one every time
You think you know everything
But you don't know anything at all
Half of his problems were supposed to be mine
But you wanted everything
I hope that you're happy, 'cause he's sure not
Well according to my calculations, I'm sorry, let me run the numbers again
Um, you're a pussy
Name calling, really? You're gonna just do name calling?
I'm name calling names alright, I'm just stating facts, and the fact is, you're a quivering pussy
I'm the pussy? Well at least I don't play with toys still, okay
Rubik's cubes are not toys, they keep my spatial reasoning skills sharp
Left Brain plays with toys, look at you
Mister, you're a toy player
Well, at least I did my fucking job, alright?
I kept him working, I kept him productive
You were supposed to look after him
You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable for all this
Now you're trying to blame me for how he's feeling, how he's feeling
If he's feeling unhappy it's because you failed him
You did this to him, he hates you I know he does
He fucking hates you
Right brain, look, I'm sorry, okay?
No, you're not
Look, maybe there's something that we could do together
Together?
Take the best parts of both of us, put 'em together
I'm listening
It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze
So you could man the themes, I'll man the form
It's something that George Carlin did
It's something that Steve Martin did
It's something special that we could both perform
Do you know what it is?
Juggling
We could juggle and juggle our cares away
It was, it was comedy, we could do comedy together, and
Initiating reassembly
Alright, Left, Right brain, look, we're gonna do comedy together alright?
We gotta do comedy, alright
Alright, Left Brain, I'll do comedy with you
Look, we can fix him like this
We can make him happy again, I promise, alright?
Reformation in five, four, three, two, one
Left Brain, Left Brain, I love you
I know
Experimentation complete
Thank you very much
Thank you guys for coming, it's so nice
I wanted to record the CD in Madison 'cause it's always been one of my favorite places to play
I played here last year, I don't know if some people came to that one?
That's very nice, thanks for coming, again, I appreciate it
Um, there's gonna be, you know
There's little silences in the show as I'm moving in between pieces
Don't feel like you have to fill that silence with laughter or applause
I don't want you leaving this show saying, you know
"My hands hurt from clapping, my stomach hurts from laughing"
I just want you leaving this show thinking, "Oh, well"
And we're on our way