[00:00.39] There's things I don't, want to be misconstrued in my act that I feel often are
[00:04.95] I don't want you leaving my show thinking, that I think I know better than people
[00:09.15] Or that I, that I think I'm better than people in general, um
[00:12.64] Okay, I just wanted to put that out there
[00:14.84] Uh, this is a song from the perspective of God
[00:17.86] 
[00:29.84] The books you think I wrote are way too thick
[00:35.38] Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick?
[00:41.44] And I don't watch you when you sleep
[00:45.91] Surprisingly, I don't use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep
[00:52.77] You're not going to Heaven
[00:57.32] Why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you?
[01:02.32] None of you are going to Heaven
[01:07.34] There's a trillion aliens cooler than you
[01:16.36] You shouldn't abstain from rape just 'cause you think that I want you to
[01:24.57] You shouldn't rape 'cause rape is a fucked up thing to do
[01:30.39] Pretty obvious, just don't fuckin' rape people, please
[01:34.38] Didn't think I had to write that one down for ya'
[01:38.19] 
[01:41.02] I don't think masturbation is obscene
[01:46.12] It's absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen
[01:51.98] You make my job a living hell
[01:55.28] I sent gays to fix overpopulation, and boy did that go well
[02:02.80] You're not going to Heaven
[02:07.00] Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns
[02:11.96] None of you are going to Heaven
[02:17.03] You're not my children, you're a bad game of Sims
[02:23.10] 
[02:26.16] You shouldn't abstain from pork just 'cause you think that I want you to
[02:32.76] 
[02:34.82] You can eat pork, 'cause why the fuck would I give a shit?
[02:40.95] I created the universe, do you think I'm drawing the line at the fuckin' deli Isle?
[02:45.78] 
[02:51.05] You argue and you bicker and you fight
[02:56.38] Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
[03:02.37] Over what they think is true
[03:06.66] But no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you
[03:12.97] You pray so badly for Heaven
[03:17.36] Knowing any day might be the day that you die
[03:22.12] But maybe life on Earth could be heaven
[03:27.31] Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth the try?
[03:34.19] 
[03:36.25] My love's the type of thing, that you have to earn
[03:40.34] And when you earn it, you won't need it
[03:45.48] My love's the type of thing, that you have to earn
[03:50.05] When you earn it, you won't need it
[03:55.39] I'm not gonna' you love just 'cause I know that you want me to
[04:01.62] 
[04:03.72] If you want love then the love is gonna' come from you
[04:08.28] 
[04:15.68] Thank you very much
[04:16.38] 