My dog's stomach was very upset, so I put him in the car and we went to the vet
And on our way to the vet, I killed a cat
And I said, isn't that ironic?
I adopted a child from overseas to rescue it from child labor factories
And On his very first birthday we went to build a bear workshop
Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C
A water park has burned to the ground and tow truck has broken down
I always use to cry when I laugh
But then I was raped by a clown
Isn't this ironic?
I was watching Al Gore on CNN,
He was talking, and talking, and talking,
And then out of boredom my pet polar bear shot himself
Isn't that ironic?
I dated an animal rights activist and one day she got really pissed
I was eating veal that was wrapped in PETA bread
Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C
I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch
And I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull out couch
Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C
Yeah if everyday you played the board game Risk
You'd probably never taken a risk in your life
And Monopoly has far from a strangle hold in the board game market
A little kid died from suffocation when he choked on a game piece from operation
And I can't grow a beard, that one's not Ironic, that one's just sad
Bob Barker got all of my pets pregnant
My grandpa had Alzheimer's and one day we were